#so im like aware of what each major news article is saying but I haven't fact checked and cross referenced

[vamptastic]

also for what it's worth I've been following your blog for a very long time and generally agree with your political takes -- I definitely don't want to imply that I think you're saying anything uneducated/in bad faith, I think I'm just coming from a very different angle as someone who's been pretty heavily involved in campus protests over the last year

oh certainly, and i appreciate that you responded back and aren't some rando writing a one-off (as most of my anons seem to be). my perspective is that of a jew who has been invested in this for my entire life and is therefore a bit cynical.

i went to one meeting of our local JVP chapter and was incredibly unimpressed and decided the uber fare wasn't worth it (i dont have a license yet for trans reasons and take the bus). i frankly just do not think that getting the city council to write a statement and organizing incredibly broad boycotts is productive. they've not had any success working with local jewish organizations and ive only met one person who is both a practicing jew and involved with them. not interested in any other local organizations on account of the rampant antisemitism where i live. i find my time is better spent with the groups i already was volunteering for (mostly focused on homelessness and the extensive racism issue in [redacted] county) however, i can see how if you live somewhere more populous and less conservative you may feel that your areas local efforts are more effective than i find mine.

im genuinely glad people care about and are invested in a ceasefire and in decreasing military spending im just frustrated that it's still not fucking happening after six months and meanwhile a bunch of insanely antisemitic rhetoric is getting propagated. i wish you luck, and i hope your efforts lead to positive change, i just have been increasingly concerned over the rhetoric i see online, from large antiZionist organizations, and from individuals i speak to.

[eleminim]

i have no one to talk right now, it's 4.19 a.m. so it gave me confidence to talk about it, my overthinkings.

life began to more and more boring for me at this point, i've changed my major in university which im a freshman now at the age of 22. Have no friends, really, no friends. I think it because of me, i put too much effort on my relationships and find myself in a situation that i gave "too much"

after that, my relation with people starts to fade away, kinda weak. i found myself thinking nearly every moment i'm in my mind.

i read an article about a woman who died because of cold, she's homeless and take off her socks for her children because their hands are got pretty cold. she died, her children also.

i'm thinking about dying, why should i live in such a... i dont know this is making lose my temper.

if i'm not a believer of God, i'd immediately take my life. still, i just cannot find a purpose to live. a purpose to break this depression cycle. i was using antidepressants & cigarette but had a quick and sudden quit both of them. one night, which is 14rd December of this year, throw my cigarette box into a trash can and didnt take my antidepressants since.

i never had a lover and a close friend. cannot say no to my friends, like friends which online or my gaming friends. i do all the fucking thing they'd ask. i dont know why am i being like a servant to people i know.

i'm praying for God, maybr he can make me more heartless or something. i cannot even watch a normal movie, i watch chappie last week and damn, i cried in the scene they beat the robot which is chappie. she is a damn robot and she doesnt have any emotion, and i found myself w teary eyes and broken mood.

hope i wont regret for writing all of this situation because i feel guilty once i start to open my mind to someone.

sincerely, i'd be pretty happy if i get any advice? or just one thought, i think i need affection or something.

have a nice day & stay healty.

♥️

Peace be upon you,

I was happy to read that your a believer of God, that made me reply this message easier.

First I congrats you on having courage to change the major even though we are young even for a 22 years old life flows quickly I guess, you doing that is a sing that just as you can be good to other people, do what they ask you, you can do that to yourself too.

I read the story of the woman who died freezing with her children, I can't say it didn't saddene me, but to me it was just like a passing news, reading your impressions on this story made me rethink my view and I think everyone should have that kind of responsibility for each person that we failed to help.

There is not "too much" in any relationship, what makes it fail is bad management, pride and not having self awareness. The relationship you had, they weren't meant for you, either by people or by time.

Usually everyone has a wordly purpose to live and there are others who live for the other life, for Paradise; maybe the fact that you haven't found a wordly purpose means that you shouldn't have one, look further into it.

Sometimes people fill themselves with so much sadness and can't seem to find a place,a time or a person to get that sadness away so you crying to a movie that may not even be that sad means that you really want to continue to get better with a new start, cleaning your view by washing it with tears.

I am sorry for not being able to answer all of your thoughts or even give you a console but the affection and love, trust me you won't find it in virtual world. I couldn't even give you a proper advice but I can say one thing each and every thing that happens to us is because of us, because of our choices, because we believe us, not Him the one who created us and gave us life.

May I hear good from you 🤗